Monday, October 3, 2016

Release Blitz: The Chronicles of Larry: Season One - Seymour Snatch & Seester McSeesterson



The book definitely NOT written by Sloane Howell and his seester...

The book your mother would NOT want you to read...

99 Cents on Amazon and FREE with Kindle Unlimited

Created by: Seymour Snatch and Seester McSeesterson

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“This book made me want to expel my lunch, and should never have been penned.” - Honore de Ballsack

“The Chronicles of Larry is a juvenile telling of a vile creature that never met an object at which he wouldn’t shake his testicles.” - Vladimir Grabacock


Allegedly based on a true story (this cannot be confirmed nor denied)...

Many moons ago in a seedy alley that cut through the heart of Toledo, Ohio, Seester McSeesterson and Seymour Snatch stumbled on their way to a hotel room from an evening of drunken debauchery. In that moment, Seester noticed a leather bound journal illuminated by the bright moonlight next to a dumpster.

She never knew that when she opened it their lives would be forever changed. Contained therein was a journal of a man named Larry. For hours they poured over tale after tale of revenge of the highest order, the ultimate in chicanery, and lived out a romance for the ages, coupled with the most electrifying profane lexicon either of them had ever bore witness to.

They searched for years trying to locate this rockstar of revenge and purveyor of profanity, only to come up empty in every search. Soon after, they decided it would be selfish to keep to themselves this epic saga of one man’s transformation from every day office drone to freedom and f*ckery. So they transcribed his journal in order to release it to the world.


You should NOT read this book. This book contains the most offensive stories of all time and should be banned worldwide. Seymour and Seester are not responsible for any material contained herein and are merely vessels transporting these stories to the masses. Please proceed with extreme caution. You have been warned.



The Chronicles of Larry: Season One is rude, crude, sarcastic, and offensive. And I found it absolutely hilarious. It’s like the authors took everything snarky anyone has thought inside their heads and put it into a book. But do not go into it thinking you’re getting a romance. This is not a romance in any sense. This is purely humor.

I have learned a whole new vocabulary of insults from reading this. My sarcasm is now sharper because of Larry. I also have a whole new arsenal of pranks up my sleeve. I just about sprained my abs laughing so hard while reading this. Oh how I wish I had the balls that Larry does. Snatch and Seesterson, thank you for releasing this journal into the wild. If I ever find myself back in cubicle hell, I will approach it with the flare that Larry does. I cannot wait to see what he gets up to next.

If you get offended easily, turn around and walk away. But if you enjoy off-color humor, if the f-bomb is your favorite word, if sarcasm is your first language—then this is the book for you. One-click it today.  -Peace and Love, Buxom J

*I want to make sure you know that just because I put a G
Rating on it doesn't mean this is safe for kids because
it absolutely is not.  It just doesn't have sex.



When Seymour is not writing stories of c*nt f*cking and debauchery he enjoys growing jalapeno peppers in the shapes of dicks. He has also mastered the craft of urinating from towering heights. Nicknamed Niagara Balls as a child, his most recent exploit was pissing from the observation deck of the Burj Khalifa in Dubai where he was dubbed the “Sultan of Streams” by the local natives.


When not acting as a master wordsmith with Snatch, McSeesterson enjoys farting up local eateries and leaving gratuities that only contain the number nine. When asked about her favorite activities McSeesterson has been quoted as saying, “Watching someone eat a crop dusted cobb salad…” is something that she “enjoys immensely…” She has also described a good fart as “Eerily similar to a three act play structure…” which has made her “More cognizant as an author with regards to timing and pacing…”

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